Q. I love one girl in my class in 12 Std. She is very nice and beautiful girl. I like her very much. I want to talk to her and be friends. I have no wrong intentions and I just want to be friends with her. She seems like a nice girl. But I hesitate a lot. I cannot open my mouth in front of her. I think many times that today I will have courage and talk to her. But I can’t. What should I do? Please help.
Ans. Just say ‘hi’ to her one day with a smile and stop at that. Repeat the same behaviour of saying hello with a smile for some days. First see her response and if she is positive and smiles back then you may think further of how to strike a conversation. If she gives either no response or a negative one then forget it. She might be a difficult person to befriend after all. First try this initial ice breaking exercise and then report to us!
Q. I am a student of engineering second year. I have failed twice in second year itself. I don’t know why I don’t feel like studying and recently I realised I do not want to become an engineer. I dropped out of the course and wanted to do nothing. No course attracts me and I do know what to do? My parents trouble me a lot and I don’t like them too. I am confused with my life and just watch TV whole day and also watch films. Please guide me for my future.
Ans. You definitely need guidance since you are doing nothing about your life and it has become stagnant. This situation needs to be changed by an extra bit of effort by indulging in clear thinking and rational discussions with significant people like your parents. Engineering is not the end of your life and if you have failed twice in it you need to go for a change in career course. We will need to know your abilities and aptitude in different fields, know your interest areas and then make a suitable choice. If you do not desire to get into long academic courses, you could think of short duration vocational courses, which are practical courses with which you can earn and make a life. Failure is not a good thing for mind and soul, but getting depressed and doing nothing about your life, will lead to a greater failure. So, do not despair, get out of your inertia and come for career guidance. There is surely a way out.
Q. My head pains a lot these days from some months. It happens when I feel tired and come back from my work. I showed to doctors and they say there is no problem. Is it psychological and is there a cure for such things? Everything in my life seems okay and fine. I have tried some Ayurvedic medicines but not much relief from them. Please help.
Ans. Headaches are of various types. It is good to know that your doctor has ruled out any medical causes. This then means that your headache is psychological in nature and as you suggest, it seems to be related to job stress. When work conditions are unfavourable, and may lead to frustrations and emotional upsets, it may lead to stress in the mind and body which can cause headaches. This is called a psychogenic headache and with proper sessions of counselling, it can be taken care of very easily. You will be happy with the results as you deal with your mind and body. Do not suffer unnecessarily.
Q. My child is six years old and he repeats ‘if this is safe to eat or not’. If others give him something to eat he will ask this question always. He feels safe if he knows someone is a doctor. He will ask if it is dirty or clean. He wants things in perfect condition otherwise he will not eat. He says sometimes that he feels afraid. He sits in one room most time. He likes going to school most times and sometimes does not want to. He is good in studies and has a sharp mind. Does he need psychological help? Is it a medical problem? Please guide.
Ans. This is a psychological problem, where your child seems to be obsessed with cleanliness and with doing things in the right manner. He seems to be concerned about order and want things to be done in perfect way. This is an anxiety based disorder and will not go away by itself. It will need to be treated with counselling and psychotherapy. Proper evaluation will need to be done about nature of the problem and the intensity of the problem. That will decide the course of treatment. Do not worry as a parent for it can be well taken care.