“Talk to your parents openly”- 12 October 2014.
Q. I am student of class 12. I am in great difficulty. I am a good student but nowadays I feel very distracted during study. I am into friends and think about them. I don’t feel like studies and feel sleepy or feel like playing. My parents shout at me all the time and tell me all sorts of names. That disturbs me further and makes me angry. I want to leave studies and run away from home. I feel suffocated at home and although I love my parents I don’t like the way they treat me. Please guide and help me.
Ans. I hope you have analysed the problem to know what has changed you from a good student to a negligent one. Either you are not enjoying the subjects you have chosen for the 12 std or you are finding them difficult or boring. The second reason could be that you have made lots of friends and are getting distracted due to them. Your parents shouting is due to their anxieties about your decline in studies and your change in attitude towards your life and studies in particular. You must sit down with your parents and discuss the issues that are bothering you. If you have made some mistakes it will help if you share them with your parents and acknowledge your mistakes. Promise them you will do well and redeem your-self. If nothing works come for a few sessions of counselling.
Q. I am 18 years old and I am a regular reader of your column. My problem is that from the past few months I am being ignored by my friends, my boyfriend & my brother. Everyone takes me for granted and no one respects me. Financial condition is not good at my home and hence I don’t get money from my dad as pocket money. My friends always treat me as an extra person. I have to go with them (friends) because I don’t have a vehical to take them where ever they want. Nearly every day I have to hear abuses from friends. My boyfriend says that I am psycho and I always do stupid things. We often have arguments on silly issues and I am the one who cries. My brother hates my boy- friend, he does not support me when I need help. No one counts me. I am always the unwanted one. I am not even financially strong enough. I am getting an inferiority complex in me and this affecting my studies. Most of the time I am tense. I have lost my self-respect. Please help me to bring self confidence in me.
Ans. You might need a few sessions of counselling to understand the true nature of your problem. Why should everyone ignore you and treat you shabbily is surprising. Generally there would be one person who would care for you and support you. What about your parents –did you ever talk to them about your condition and did they try to help you? I would need some more details before I can reach a conclusion about your state of mind. Meanwhile try to focus only on your studies and put all your energies in it and do well. That would help you raise your confidence and self-respect.
Q. I am 17 years old girl studying in 12th standard. I am very depressed due to rude behavior of a teacher with me. She teaches us chemistry. She has insulted me many times before the class and quarrels all the time. I have talk to my parents about this and also my father met her. But there is no change in her nature. Due to this I could not concentrate on my studies even though I was bright till 10th.I am getting depressed and wants to leave that college. Also I was thinking about taking a drop of a year as I don`t think I have well prepared for exam. Please suggest me.
Ans. How can you be responsible for other’s behaviour? If someone, like a teacher in your case, misbehaves with you due to her own personal problems and no fault of yours, you should not allow that person to spoil your life or your mind. Ignore that person and keep your self –respect intact. Do your work in all sincerity and keep your moods alright. Do not change the college and neither should you take a drop. You should never allow another person to disturb your life to such an extent. Everyone has problems and they may take it out on others in an unfair and unjust way. It is wrong on her part to do so but since she continues to do so in spite of your parents meeting her, you have no choice but to ignore her, throw her out of your mind, you may skip her single class of chemistry and continue with your studies with more zeal. Never be a loser, be a winner.