“Think and trust”- 23 July 2017.

Q. My younger brother is in habit of purchasing new mobile phones. After every 6 months, he tries to convince our father to get him a new one. He is just 20 years old. He has been using his apple phone since 2 months. Now, it seems he again has an intention to change his phone. My mother is getting worried about his continuous purchasing. It’s increasing now as he is getting older. My father pampers him a lot. Please help.

Ans. Well, if his father is pampering him to the point of spoiling his habits then no one can help him. It is nice of you to worry for your brother’s mental health and his future habits and you could try having a word with your father. If he agrees with you it will be great and if he ignores your opinion let it be. You could also try talking to your brother about it and telling him the benefits of frugality. If no one listens to you just mind your own business and make your life happy and glorious.

Q. I belong to a middle class family. I go to college in the morning, and I have tuitions in the evening. I myself take tuitions in the early morning hours. I feel happy to study and work at the same time. Nowadays I am getting exhausted a lot. It feels as all the things are pulling me from either of the sides. It’s creating lots of stress. Sometimes I go blank. I am not able to understand what is bothering me actually. Please help.

Ans. You do seem to have a hectic schedule of attending college and tuitions and taking tuitions yourself for other students. Well, you are a hard working boy and are utilising your time to the maximum possible. Find out if your source of stress is physical or mental. If it is physical you need some rest and respite from your schedule and if it is mental then we need to understand the reasons more in detail. You need a break from work and need to have some fun with friends and family. Take a few days off and do what you feel like doing. Enjoy and relax your mind and body and see if that helps. Otherwise do not hesitate to contact me.

Q. My mother gets confused easily. She is a working woman. She does all her work in perfect way. She balances her home and work fairly. Whenever it comes to taking some decisions she is unable to make any. She gets stuck and confuses us also, as she feels everything is right. This increases the impatience of my father. I don’t know what hinders her to give one simple answer. Please help.

Ans. Some people are able to take a view from all sides and that may create a problem of being indecisive. Since she feels everything is right and has the ability to see from all sides she gets stuck as to whose side she should take. This also means that she has not worked on developing her opinions on some matters of importance in the house and family and may get confused with differing opinions. She may simplify things by leaving the decisions to your father and other members and not feel bad about it. Or someone needs to help her build opinions and learn the art of expressing it. It may happen at times that she has an opinion but fails to express it if others are too dominant and assertive about their own opinions. Ask her what her problem is.

Q. I didn’t want to get married. Now, I have met a boy who is in same profession. He makes me laugh. I feel comfortable in his company. He has respect for all the girls around. He is sincere and workaholic. He never hurts anybody. I know him since 2 years. We are working in the same company. He is 2-3 years elder to me. I always get attracted towards his simple, honest and hardworking nature. Should I trust him? Please help.

Ans. This is a difficult question to answer. Also I am not sure if you are asking about trust for marriage or trust for taking the friendship to the next level?? It is important not to trust too soon and suffer later. Two years is a long enough time to trust someone but it all depends upon what type of time you have spent with each other. In social meetings and formal interactions only one side of the personality is visible. Another side gets revealed in informal situations and yet another side gets revealed only after marriage! There are many sides to a personality and the social side can be very misleading and deceptive. Your question is very valid and you may like to test him from closer quarters too at some point of time. This is important before you give your heart away completely.


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