You have the right to choose your mate – 06 March 2011


Q. I am doing my post graduation in a professional course. I come from a very small, strict middle class family. My parents were always very strict about who I was socialising with in other words I was not allowed to maintain friends normally like other kids my age. I was not allowed to play as a child or hang out with friends or use phone or internet as a teenager. But I had a never mind attitude for all these rules I was ok with them I realised that my parents are overly over protective of me and never rebelled against them. Instead I put all my energy into making a career for myself, a life- long dream which I am very close to realise now. I have been quite a loner and the closest person to me for all these years has been my mother I confide everything to her. But recently I met the most wonderful person we became friends and I fell in love with this guy eventually. He shares the same feelings for me and we decided to go ahead and tell our families about our wish to marry each other. But they have declined and are against it. I am in a very disturbed emotional state after these turn of events, he even offered to elope but m not ready for such a step, quite frankly it’s not a very smart thing to do and it will kill my parents. Please guide me how to cope with the situation as I do not want my studies to be disturbed. Please tell me how to handle my emotions as I am having emotional breakdowns very often now, and have tried every possible conversation to convince my parents but all in vain.

Ans. You are a very good and adjusting person and have made the most of what life offered you. You have also analysed the situation well. Instead of rebelling you used the opportunity to make a career. That was the best thing for you to do. Now that you are nearing the completion of your studies you will soon become independent in all ways. That will increase your confidence in yourself. With time if you feel that he is the best guy for you, go ahead and marry him. You could only wish that your parents will see reason one day and realize where your happiness lies and bless you in your decision. You will be lucky if they do otherwise you could make your own choice at the right time. You will be soon be a working adult and you have the right to make your choice.

P. Y , Nagpur.

Q.  I (age-23yrs.) am studying in LLB Final year (5 yrs. course) at Nagpur. I want to know which would be a suitable option for me after graduation- 1. Doing LLM ? Whether I would get a good placement in a company or law firm on the basis of LLM ? If yes ,which are top colleges in India? 2.Would I get a good job in a company or law firm on the basis of LLB?  3.Doing CS (Company Secretary) course? From where Nagpur or pune or any other city (for goods classes,15 months compulsory training and good job)? 4.Doing MBA? Which branch? Which are top MBA-institutes in India? 5. Joining judiciary through JMFC exam? 6. Starting legal practice in court? 7.Joining judiciary after 7 yrs. of practice(minimum qualification) by directly appearing for District Judges’ exam? 8.Any other option you would suggest.

Ans. You have thrown up all possible options after graduation in law but what is most important is your own preference of area of work and specialization. I am sure you have some long term aims and dreams which you would like to pursue. Any choice would have to been seen and weighed against your dreams as well as your aptitude and personality qualities. You should also consider your resources and your financial status. Please come for a session of career planning and guidance for it would be difficult for me to answer all your queries justly.

Published in The Hitavada – Emotions column 06 March 2011


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